This guy pisses me off!

Dear Diary,

OMG! You will NOT believe what Zimbabwe's President Mugabe said about me yesterday! He totally dissed me!!!! He said that I am girl born out of slave ancestry and that I should know "that the white man is not a friend." I'm not sure exactly what he means by that because the President of the United States is a very good friend of mine, and he's a white man, so clearly Mugabe is wrong about that.
Also, Mugabe said that "the white man is the slave master to" me -- which is totally not true, especially because I work to bring democracy and liberty to the world with my white male colleagues. If this administration were pro-slavery, I don't think the President would have asked me to be his Secretary of State. I really resent Mugabe saying that I have to "echo [my] master's voice" -- I mean, there may be a fine line between 'President' and 'master,' but just because I happen to unquestioningly follow all the orders I'm given by white men and I blindly agree with everything the white men I work with say, it doesn't mean I've confused the two terms....

Whatever. Mugabe's just jealous because we have more nuclear weapons than he does. And he's probably thirsty from all that drought. Ha! Ha!