Problems with BOTH Koreas

3/19/05
WTF?! Why doesn't South Korea understand that the reason we are having six-party talks with North Korea is so the rest of the world can present a united front against Pyongyang's nuclear program? SK Foreign Minister Ban Ki-moon had better get up out of my face with that shit. It's not like the US would ever negotiate directly with North Korea; just because we have lots of nuclear weapons doesn't mean they can. Plus, we would never invade NK -- they don't have any oil! There's no reason for the NK newspapers to be saying things like "The US imperialists unleash a new war, they will pay a high price." I just hope China will be cool and help bring NK back to the table for disarmament talks, before I have to get all crazy up on them.

Still in Asia...

3/19/05
Yeah, North Korea. I DID call you an Outpost of Tyranny-- AND WHAT?! What do you guys need weapons for? The US has no intentions of attacking or invading you. I mean. Why would we? You're really, really, really POOR. South Korea doesn't want anything you guys have either, so calm down about their military manuevers, too.

PS- Japan should totally let our beef in.

Boo-Ya! Asia for me!

Dear Diary,

This diplomat stuff is even easier than I thought it would be. I've already used my mad skillz to help fix some stuff in Europe and the Middle East. I just hope everything goes smoothly during this South and East Asia tour this week. China's been trying to get all uppity with some anti-secession crap with Taiwan. I mean, what kind of nation thinks it can just decide to attack another just because it disagrees with the other's actions and policies? That is so weak. I am so not down with China's growing economic and military strength.

I am also not down with Pyongyang giving me a hard time next week. Kim Jong-il had better represent and agree to some new six-party nuclear weapons negotiations.
PS- There's no way I'm apologizing for calling North Korea an "outpost of tyranny." They so are!
PPS- NOT looking forward to talking in Afghanistan about democracy and freedom...

Ya'll Crazy?

Whoa! That is the last time I go on "Meet the Press!" NBC's Tim Russert totally tried to put me on the spot! Asking me all 'Are you going to run for President in 2008? Are you going to give Hillary the smackdown?' And he's not the only one! ABC and all these other news channels are all up in my bizniz. They need to leave my ass alone. I'm too busy being the Keeper of Global Freedom to think about that kind of thing...

As if I would tell them anything at this point in time. Bwa ha ha ha ha!