Surprise, Iraq!

5/15/05
Dear Diary-- Ha! I totally took Iraq by surprise when I showed up there! It's like, PM Ibrahim al-Jaafari, hello? Did you NOT think I was going to touch base with you regarding the mechanisms of getting more Sunni Arabs involved in drafting Iraq's new constitution? I get that Iraq's made remarkable achievements in the past year, but it's still like totally vital to political progress for the insurgency to be overcome. I mean, I definitely think this whole insurgency thing can be beaten -- as long as there is a "strong political alternative." An I do understand that it is WAY hard to cast off all those years of tyranny and dictatorship and come to politcal unity. But this problem is WAY solvable.

PS- It is totally hot here, and by hot I mean I might die of the sweltering heat in this khaki outfit. PPS- I'm sure they're exaggerating about those 34 bodies they found when I arrived. Beheading is dumb.

Stupid SFRC!

5/12/05
Dear Diary-- What the hell?! Today the Senate Foreign Relations Committee announced that it is not going to recommend John Bolton for US ambassador to the UN! Just because Bolton has always criticized the UN and makes up his own interpretations of intelligence reports, I don't see why they don't think he's the best person for the job... Doesn't that help make him a tough-minded diplomat?

There WILL be peace in the Middle East!!!

5/9/05
Dear Diary-- What's up? Today I was at Kofi's press conference in Moscow for the Middle East "Quartet." (i.e. I have to work with Russia, the UN and the EU to get peace in the Middle East-- not that I need their help to create a just, comprehensive, and lasting settlement to the Arab-Israeli conflict. I could totally do it by myself.... But I guess I DO have the advantage that both PMs Sharon and Abbas are so down with me). People seem to think the Middle East Roadmap isn't going to work -- ooooh! like it's soooo hard to get the Israelis to release Palestinian prisoners and getting Palestinian militants to lay down their arms. All we have to do is follow the Sharm El-Shiekh agreements, dummies. This Israeli disengagement from the Gaza and four West Bank territories is going to be hella smooth. I am gonna get mad props for establishing a democratic Palestinian state! Yeeeeah!

PS- That special envoy, James Wolfensohn, had better not mess this shit up.