Word up, Beruit!

Dear Diary,

I'm all up in Lebanon to support them kicking Syria's ass to the curb. Here's a picture of me chillin' with pro-Syrian President Emile Lahoud.

I am all about giving props to the new Lebanon. Especially because it is way democratic. It's a Lebanon in which the Lebanese should make decisions for the Lebanese, and it's one that's gonna be down with the international obligations the US fully expects to be carried out. There is NO WAY the US will change its long-standing policy towards the Shia militant movement Hezbollah. I mean, it would be totally cool if Prime Minister Fouad Siniora would disarm the militants in line with a Security Council resolution, but I bet he won't, so whatevs...

I'll give you a "manhandle" upside your head!

Dear Diary,

I AM SO MAD! I can't believe the Sudanese Presidential security staff tried to cockblock my people! I mean, I drag my ass to Khartoum to talk to President Omar al-Beshir, and then while we're meeting, his posse is all up in the my US reporters and officials' business. WTF? Don't these people know Americans are untouchable? I mean, if we wanna ask about the death of 180,000 people over the last two years, we're gonna.

Whatevs -- I'm off to go get down with the 2 million Darfur refugees. Genocide is so early nineties.

Get your shit together, Burma!

Dear Diary,

Could I get a LITTLE help on the democracy front? All I want is for Thailand and PM Shinawatra to help me get Burma to be a democracy. That's all. It's NOT helpful when Thailand isn't down with the US's isolation of the Rangoon junta.

PS- I also wish they would play up our role in the post-tsunami reconstruction. Seriously. It's not like anyone's ever going to go to Phuket again now.

Seriously, Burma...

Dear Diary,

I SO do NOT want to go to the Asean (Association of South East Asian Nations) summit. I'm probably going to tell them I'm "too busy," but really, I'm just completely OVER the lack of democratic progress in Burma. I don't care if the US Secretary of State hasn't missed an Asean summit in several years! Maybe I'll make Robert Zoellick (aka SUCKER LACKEY) go. If I go, it's just going to be a big shouting match about political prisoners -- i.e. WAY BORING!