Yeah, NOW Russia is sorry

Dear Diary,

I'd like to point out that the Cold War was Russia's fault. It makes me crazy that I have to sit here at this stupid APEC meeting and listen to Vladimir Putin talk about how he agrees with us about stopping North Korea's nuclear ambitions. Hello? You guys MADE North Korea! If the USSR hadn't interfered with the spread of Democracy in East Asia, we wouldn't even need to have these conversations!

And I DON'T want to touch your damn hand, Putin!