Bad day

Dear Diary,

I’m having a really bad day today. The Pentagon’s released a statement saying that the number of US troops killed in Iraq has reached 2,500. That is a huge amount. Luckily, because this news is so awful, no one is paying attention to the statement from campaign group Iraq Body Count that at least between 38,355 and 42,747 Iraqi civilians have died since the onset of the conflict.

It’s really annoying that most of the deaths on both sides were caused by insurgents. It’s like, WE ARE HERE TO FREE YOU. SIMMER DOWN. I can’t believe we have spent or allocated $438 billion on the "war on terror.”

Let me tell you a little story about HELL NO!

Dear Diary,

Today I was on 'Fox News Sunday' and 'Face the Nation.' I had to explain to people that Iran just doesn’t seem to understand that if it ends its nuclear program, it will get the HOOK-UP from the West! Iran needs to GET ON IT, because that shit ain’t open-ended! And it’s not like I’m handing out deadlines… yet.

say WHAT now?

Dear Diary,

I am tired of hearing people imply that there are difficulties getting people into key posts in the new Iraqi government. I’m pretty sure the process of setting up an entirely new government to run a totally revamped nation will be complete in the next few days. How hard can it be? Iraq’s a Democracy now! People be trippin’!