Oh say can you see...?

Dear Diary,

Look at the awesome banner of me that was up in downtown Beirut! I look totally giant and powerful! At first, I thought the banner was to proclaim Lebanon's faith in the great job I am doing in helping them get rid of Hezbollah. Unfortunately, my glorious face was transposed over a protest against the war and Israel's hostilities.

Well, everyone can be as critical of my foreign policies as he or she pleases, but I still look way HOT in that picture!

ASEAN

Dear Diary,

Today I was at the Asean gala (Association of Southeast Asian Nations) Regional Forum (ARF) in Kuala Lumpur. I've never been to this regional security forum, but I know Colin came a bunch of times and made an ass of himself. Really? You dress up like a construction worker and sing YMCA? You are the leader of the Free World!

I played a dignified and very difficult piano piece because I am CIVILIZED! I was there to set an EXAMPLE, Colin.

I'm gonna go with a semi "updo" for this ceasefire...

Dear Diary,

Today I surprised Lebanon's PM, Fouad Siniora, by showing up in Beirut. I put the smack down on him for letting terrorist groups like Hezbollah operate within Lebanon's borders. I mean, he is brave and everything -- what with Israel kicking the crap out of his country -- and it totally sucks that about 600,000 Lebanese have had to flee their homes and normal lives, but what does Siniora expect me to do? I have to uphold Peace and Justice... and that means NO PROPS to the terrorists, even if it costs thousands of innocent lives!

Do you not see that I am wearing my serious face?

Dear Diary,

The Oval Office in the White House is nice and cool. The Middle East, however, is hot and ON FIRE.

*sigh*

Stupid Beirut.

Don't you talk to me about an immediate cease-fire between Israel and Hezbollah guerrillas in Lebanon!

Dear Diary,

Don't people realize we're on Israel's side? Don't they realize that if we cared, we would have stopped this madness when it started?

Silly, silly general public and world leaders!

Yum, yum, gimme some!

Dear Diary,

Would I engage in totally hot makeout with Canadian Foreign Minister Peter Mackay?

HELL YES, BITCHES!

I love the G8 Foreign Ministers Summit, even if it is in Moscow!

My suit is SHINY!

Dear Diary,

I must say, it is always a delight to meet with Winston Peres. He's such a lovely man.

I think I'll stay right here in this nice, cool room on this fluffy chair and chat about New Zealand's foreign affairs and NOT think about:

1. Hezbollah
2. Egypt's Foreign Minister, Ahmed Abul Gheit
3. Israel

Yes. That is what I shall do.

PS- I am totally rockin' the pearls today!

Do you not see the power lipstick I am rocking?

Dear Diary,

How the hell is a sister supposed to get her ass to an Asian security forum when there is major shizzle going down in the Middle East? Ya'll already know North Korea is up to no good; what do ya'll need me for? Lebanon, however, is on FIRE. Which "peace" do you want me to "keep"? Malaysia needs to simmer down and Foreign Minister Syed Hamid Albar needs to recognize!

nukes vs. food

Dear Diary,

I’m really glad that South Korea is going to give North Korea some food. Being hungry is no good – especially when you are ruled by a crazy-pants dictator.

I mean, I know I would rather have some rice than a nuclear weapon. What is wrong with Kim Jong-il? I’m really glad Pyongyang’s said it’s going to rejoin the six-party talks to end its nuclear weapon program.