Do you not see the power lipstick I am rocking?

Dear Diary,

How the hell is a sister supposed to get her ass to an Asian security forum when there is major shizzle going down in the Middle East? Ya'll already know North Korea is up to no good; what do ya'll need me for? Lebanon, however, is on FIRE. Which "peace" do you want me to "keep"? Malaysia needs to simmer down and Foreign Minister Syed Hamid Albar needs to recognize!