Did I stutter or something?

Dear Diary,

Sometimes I feel like saying to North Korea:

"Look bitches, do you not realize that your crazy-pants nuclear test requires a strong response from, like, the free world?

You need to recognize that your behavior totally poses a regional challenge. You need to respect the fact that Russia, Japan, China, and SoKo want a denuclearized Korean Peninsula like I want to be Tina Turner -- i.e. A LOT. "

But then Diary, sometimes I feel like saying to South Korea:

"Um, you guys do realize it's your asses that are on the line if Kim Jong-il-na-na isn't kept in check with your "sunshine policy"? And you do realize that he would invade your asses in a second, if we weren't there protecting you? Why won't you just give some love to Resolution 1718?!"

I have a thankless job.