Ramallama-ding-dong (REALLY inappropriate, I know)

Dear Diary,

Yesterday afternoon, I was in West Bank town of Ramallah, hanging out with Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas. I told him that the US is totally down with Islam, just like people in Palestine! I told him it’s super lame that the humanitarian and economic situations in the territories are so sucky – especially during Ramadan. I mean, no one wants to do the “all day fasting thing” and then not have any food with which to break it.

Don’t get me wrong, I gave Abbas mad props for his leadership and told him we totally want to support him and the Palestinian Authority – just not Hamas, because they are dumb. It’s too bad Abbas couldn’t get Hamas to agree to a national unity government. I am really not down with a civil war between the Fatah and Hamas. Anyway, if like, Hamas would be cool, I could definitely see us trying to help the Palestinian people to move within their territory, look for ways to end the violence, and come up with ways to make possible a life for them that is not subject to the kind of daily humiliations that we know have been associated with the occupation. That would rule.

BTW, Hamas Prime Minister, Ismail Haniya – if, when you say that I care “only to rearrange this region and to rearrange the Palestinian scene in a way that serves the American and Israeli agenda” you mean, “she is very pretty and will help us make a wonderful democracy that is just like America’s” then yes, you are correct.

Now who do I have to call to get those border crossings opened?