"State of Me Whuppin' You Upside Your Head"

Dear Diary,

Um. What am I supposed to say? It really hurts that that poop-face, Bob Woodward, would write so many horrible lies about me.

I was an awesome National Security Advisor!

It's like, no, I do not remember having an emergency, impromptu meeting with George Tenet on July 10, 2001. And yeah, I'm pretty certain that I would remember if I was told, as this account apparently says, that there was about to be an attack in the US. And the idea that I would somehow have ignored that, I find totally lame. Sure, at the time, there was a steady stream of quite alarmist reports of potential attacks, but those attacks were all going to be in like, other places, to kill other people.

Honestly, if this stuff was important, don't you think I would have brought it up when I testified before the 9/11 Commission back in the day? (And by back in the day, I mean March 2004.)

Oh and PS, Mr. Woodward, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and former Attorney General John Ashcroft had all the same info I had. Why don't you write about them?!