Give me a W! Give me an A! Give me an R! What does it spell?!

Dear Diary,

Today I made a surprise stop in Baghdad. I talked to the American military personnel about how important teamwork and sacrifice are and how the mission in Iraq is an essential mission for the security and well-being of the United States of America. Er... that and it's also about helping the Iraqi people to find their way out of violence, out of tyranny, to democracy and to living together in peace and prosperity... or something.

I tried to tell those guys to not worry. I mean, they know a lot's going on back in Washington, and I'm sure a lot of them are upset because the "Defeatocrats" are messing everything up with their resolutions. It's like "Hello? We're finally like going to dedicate enough people to the cause, and they're totally cock-blocking our efforts!" At least even the stupid Democrats know that the sacrifice and the labor of our in Iraq has been honorable. No one is saying the troops are doing a bad job or anything.

So anyways, I was like, "Hey, guys! You're doing an awesome job! You and the Iraqis! It's totally not true that American people don't want to fight this war anymore. It's just that the American people want to know that we can succeed!" It's like an insurance policy. Like having sex after you get the engagement ring!

In the end, I think I really cheered them up. I know I was totally pumped! I totally should have done cheer instead of piano when I was growing up.