Ya'll know what you did

Dear Diary,

So I was at my husba-- I mean, the President's press conference today, and I kept thinking about last Friday when I told some reporters that Syria and Lebanon need to knock off the shady shit and represent.

I mean, how uncool would it be for some high-ranking Syrian and Lebanese officials to have participated in the assassination of Lebanese Prime Minister Rafik al-Hariri?

SO UNCOOL -- that's how. Whatevs, my remarks totally put the pressure on President Bashar al-Assad, since his brother-in-law probably had something to do with it. Fools need to be accountable for that nonsense.