I'm waving to the little people

Dear Diary,

I'm starting to think that I might want to meet separately with Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas, but I am totally not going to coordinate their meetings for them. I'm so tired of people thinking they can cut diplomatic ties, launch rockets, and kill innocent people and then expect me to come give them band-aids.

Nope. I'm just going to sit back, relax, and look forward to the Forum for the Future conference at a Dead Sea resort later this week. I'm pretty sure that Jordan's King Abdullah II is just over-reacting about the growing violence and tension in Iraq, Palestine and Lebanon. Anyway, I'm wearing pretty jewelry today. And nothing says "Mideast democratization" like G-O-L-D!

It's too bad my advisor, Philip Zelikow, just quit. Otherwise, today would have been a perfect. Oh wait, that and the fact that we were in Estonia (?!?!?!) for a NATO meeting. So, yeah, without those two details, today would have been perfect.

And by "powerful" they mean "kick-ass"

Dear Diary!

OMG! According to a poll by the Quinnipiac University Polling Institute (not sure where that is exactly), Americans think that I'm the most powerful woman in America! And Hillary and Nancy are totally eating my dust!

Oprah is gonna be so mad!!!! HA! HA! HA!

I'll take that one... and that one... and that one...

Dear Diary,

Today George and I had breakfast at Hickam Air Force Base in Honolulu, Hawai'i.

There were a lot of men there.

A lot of hot men.

I LOVE BOYS!!!!!

No more DRAMA! Do I look like Mary J?

Dear Diary,

Sometimes it's really hard to work with George.... but I am not going to dwell-- not going to dwell.

I think it's best to focus on the positive: like how much I rocked APEC this weekend.

Diary, I went in there and explained to people that while the Iraq War is nothing like the Vietnam War, it totally could be, if Iraqis get their shizz together like communist Vietnam did.

I mean, I don't want to diminish the difficulties that we have in Iraq or that the Iraqi people have in Iraq, but it's like, if the Iraqis make good decisions, like Vietnam has made good decisions, then they might have a totally awesome country in the end!

I just wish the leaders of Burma and North Korea would follow the example of Vietnam and create new opportunities for their people. I mean, APEC is down with the principles that define our partnership: Freedom of navigation, freedom of trade, freedom of exchange, and the freedom of all people to live under laws of their own making... oh yeah, and freedom to make a crap-load of CA$H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Overall, I was really diggin' on Vietnam. I've like, never seen a friendlier people than the people of Vietnam. So it was fun. It would have been cool to have stayed longer.

I think ruffles suit me

Dear Diary,

At the International Convention Center, chillin at Vietnam's President Nguyen Minh Triet wife's (Tran Thi Kim Chi) dinner party.

I gave a lot of statements today. I have to say, it was a nice break to not have to talk about the Middle East so much. It was annoying, however, to have to talk about how the US is totally not willing to live with a nuclear North Korea.

It was good that I got a chance to say that I'm a little bit worried about "rising China." I mean, it's cool that China is an important economic power, but I for one am hella nervous about China's transition. Like, is the Chinese economy really going to act in a way that is consistent with the level playing field that the international economy needs, whether it is in terms of currency valuation, or intellectual property rights protection? And like, what is up with the Chinese military buildups? Seriously? Kind of outsized, right?

But by and large, I think I made it clear that we are down with China, and that it is very much in the interest of the world that China's energies, China's growth, be channeled in a way that is stabilizing for the international system and stuff.

It's like Dr. Dre says, "I gotta say it was a good day."

Job Posting

Dear Diary,

Well, it totally blows that the Republicans have lost control of the House. The stupid Defeatocrats are sure to mess everything up.

But it sucks even more that Donald Rumsfeld has to step down as Secretary of Defense. I mean, how embarrassing! Especially after George was all -- Rummy’s doing a fantastic job and I strongly support him -- 7 days ago! Like, I do not even know what I would do if that were me. I’m glad everyone loves me and that I’m winning “the war on imposing sanctions on everyone and her mother” – rather than losing “the war on terror.”

: )

Mind yo' bidness

Dear Diary,

I think it is so uncool that Tony Blair is all up in Saddam's execution verdict. I mean, this is not something for Americans or, frankly, Europeans to comment on. I think this is something for Iraqis to decide.

Hello? He got a fair trial -- it's his fault that a tribunal of 5 judges voted unanimously that he should be hanged to death.

I really resent people saying that this verdict is a result of US manipulation! It's like, I can't speak for anyone else, but my job and my responsibility is to try and help conduct a foreign policy that gets American goals achieved. It's not my fault if Iraqi goals during this war we are waging against them are exactly the same as ours.

Remind me again why you were invited to join the WTO?

Dear Diary,

It's really silly to think that 3 American Republicans would try to start a revolt against the communist government in Vietnam. I mean, really? Who would do something as second-rate as taking over state radio stations and calling for an uprising against the Vietnamese government? That is so early 20th Century or something.

All I have to say is that Vietnam needs to recognize and stop this trial shizz before the APEC summit.

Are you threatening me?

Dear Diary,

I think it is really lame that Iran is trying to be all tough by launching Shahab-3 ballistic missiles. I mean, even that type of missile is lame. If you are going to be hard-core-- get a good missile.

But the Iranians also totally know that the security environment is one in which if they actually were to do something, they would get the b'jesus kicked out of them -- well, not Jesus, but... nevermind. Basically, Iran would suffer greatly and so I think they probably understand that.

Anyway, is this is how they want it, I hope they're ready for this jelly -- and by "jelly" I mean "sanctions."

I am so going to back-slap you right now

Dear Diary,

Today I totally wanted to punch Deputy National Security Advisor, Dr. Jack D. Crouch II, in the mouth.

Why? Um... because he is an incompetent boob with a big head.